Do you remember your “best friend forever” from kindergarten? Or the best friend from first grade- you know the one you bought matching heart piece necklaces with? Well if you answered to yourself with a yes and yes- than you’re lucky. Like many people I have gone through the grade school system and through college with a number of “best friends” or people that I THOUGHT I could always count on. On this particular night this picture was taken (not all of these great people I will proceed to elaborate on are photographed here) I ended up having a conversation with one of these amazing people when I was acting as D.D. driving to their apartment. As my friend may have been slightly intoxicated he/she insisted on thanking me multiple times for taking them home. “Of course – it’s all love- I love you guys and I know you would all do the same thing for me,” was my natural and thoughtless response. It was thoughtless specifically because I meant every word of it. My friend looked at me and in a small rage of retaliation to my statement and replied in these overall words: “Cindy you’re dumb if you think EVERYONE in our group would be doing the same thing for you.”
It hit me like a bus because although I have been in a setting multiple times where I have been loving and generous when it came to friendship I found this group of beloved people when I thought I had given up on the concept of friends. In the past I was disappointed or betrayed quite a bit -again not a news breaking story for many people of the world- but to hear this thought presented to me once again after coming from what felt like the dead and back startled me to say the least.
With that said do we have friends forever that we can count on or just friends that we can count on for the time? Are we always going to be constantly recycling people to our advantage or do some relationships really carry themselves everywhere in your life?
As I have seen it, the first thought has been mostly true but as of recently I have felt hope again for the later-something I NEVER thought in a million years I would feel about “friends” after graduating college. I have come to realize friendships and people can never be perfect which I use to think was a necessary truth in order for someone to define a real friend. This to me meant never letting me down, never hurting me, and never missing a single note to the beat of my life. Clearly there are no perfect people but there are perfect traits about people. Whether those traits are found in flaw or found in purity- I appreciate these small details for what they are. For example I have one friend who always says things blatantly without any filter-sometimes without any manners. While I can find this a nuance in public sometimes I know when it comes to my feelings I can always expect the honest truth. Another girlfriend of mine- she is not a socialite by definition so most people think she is a witch minus a letter when they first meet her. While that is far from true I can appreciate her friendship more because I know when she does decide to use the word “friend” and when she makes the time to put me in her life- its means something. I could continue the list forever but I think you get the point.
As of now I don’t know if there is such a thing as friends forever but I do know the people in my life right now will always hold a special place in my heart and in my memory for the difference that they have made in helping me change my way of thinking about friendship overall. Some friendships may not live forever but the impact and memory lives on…